What Not to Say to a Teacher

iStockphoto

You may not hear from your child's teacher very often—for most parents that's a good thing—but the truth is, there's a lot they'd like to tell you. So we asked two teachers for the messages they most wanted to share with parents. Follow their guidelines to make school a better experience for everyone involved, including you.

1. Keep sick kids at home. "It really is so important that kids skip school when they're sick," says Rick Diana,* a high school teacher in New York. Germs spread easily—especially in crowded schools—and before you know it, half the teaching staff and students are sick with the same cold.

2. Send your child to school with a full belly. "Hungry kids can't focus," says Beth Taylor*, a middle school teacher in Rhode Island. "And if they can't focus, they can't learn." Take advantage of free breakfast programs, which you can often apply for at the beginning of every school year by filling out a simple application.

3. Come to parent-teacher conferences. "Parent-teacher relationships are a critical piece of the puzzle," says Diana. "So open up the communication." Keep the conversation two-sided: Listen to the teacher's perspective and then express how things are going at home. The teacher may not know your child is struggling unless you tell him or her.

4. Get involved. "Teachers love parents who volunteer," says Taylor. Chaperone school trips and dances, attend sporting events and award ceremonies, or join the parent-teacher organization. "It is so apparent to teachers that students whose parents are actively involved in their academic lives are often those who are most successful," says Diana.

5. Stay informed. "There are lots of ways teachers and school leaders try to keep parents in the loop," says Diana. Visit the school's website and read the school literature. Figure out which means of communication the school prefers, then do your best to stay in the know.

6. Thank teachers—when they deserve it. "It's nice when parents come to us when things are going well," says Taylor. "It's nice to have a positive line of communication." While most teachers can't accept gifts of value, "a thoughtfully written card is the most happily received gesture," says Diana. If you'd like to give your child's teacher a gift, especially for the holidays, first find out if your child's school has a policy restricting it. If he or she is able to accept a gift, opt for something inexpensive yet thoughtful, like a gift card (for a restaurant or a book, crafts or department store), chocolate, something that can be utilized in the classroom, picture frames or anything with a favorite sports team logo.

7. Ask your child how school is going. "And keep asking, even when all he says is 'fine,'" says Diana. Find out what he's learning, what interests or bores him, and how he feels about things outside of the classroom. You're the best barometer of your child's school experience. The sooner you know something isn't going well, the sooner you can take steps to fix it.

8. Know your child does have homework. "Even kindergarteners have homework," says Taylor. If your child says she's not getting take-home assignments or consistently comes home without books, call the school to schedule a meeting with her teachers.

9. Remember your child is one of 30, not one of one. "Teachers truly have their hands full," says Diana. "It's important to recognize that your child's teacher can only give her so much time." If you suspect your child needs more attention than she's getting, ask the teacher how you can keep her from falling behind. She should be able to suggest supplementary activities or tutoring services.

10. But also remember that every child counts. "Every child in my classroom matters to me," says Taylor. "Every one of them deserves the opportunity to learn." You're your child's best advocate, so if you truly suspect she's being overlooked, speak first with her teacher. If that doesn't work, speak with the principal.

11. Don't act as an accomplice to violations of school rules. "Many students are not allowed to use cell phones at school," says Diana. "Yet often we hear from a student that her parents have instructed her to keep her phone on." It's difficult for teachers to enforce rules when the children's primary rule-makers are saying to break them. In regard to cell phones, remember that students can reach parents via the main office, and vice versa.

12. Remember that there are many sides to every story. "Don't always assume your child is perfectly innocent," urges Diana. Go into disciplinary situations with an open mind and listen to the teacher's story as well as the stories of other students involved.

13. And remember that every day is a do-over. "There are no bad kids," says Taylor, "just bad behavior." Once bad behavior has been dealt with, don't assume the teacher is holding a grudge against your child. Encourage your child to approach every day as if his slate is clean.

14. Learn along with your child. "If you can, read the book your child is reading for English," says Diana. "Tackle the math problems alongside her." If you can connect with your child and relate to what she's learning, it will help her value the lessons.

15. Set a good example. "Read in front of your children and read to your children," says Taylor. Children who struggle with reading and writing will struggle throughout school. If reading and writing come easily to them, school will come easily. The classroom is a start, but it's also your job to ensure they have a solid grasp of the fundamentals.

* Names have been changed.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

What Not to Say to a Teacher

Source: https://www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/a4500/how-to-make-school-better-for-your-kids-101803/

Share this post